Posts Tagged 'The Simpsons'

Warning: Details to Follow

Details are very important but there are times when details make us shutter.  These are the times when details attack, just like the animals in those shows.  You’re innocently walking along and out of nowhere you are mauled by a bear, or perhaps a woman you causally know from work explaining how and why she

Tampax or Playtex Pearl?

switched tampon brands.  Each situation is equally grizzly and horrific.

In casual practice, details are not horrible, but when they are misused it is cause for panic and screaming.  They are little pieces that make up the whole, like an atom is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and probably some other stuff we haven’t discovered yet.  Details are the building blocks of anything.  They are crucial, I mean, how else am I going to find out how you ended up putting on your tights while driving to work?

Ralph's all about the details

I’m a tad bit detail oriented, which is a good and bad thing.  Saying I’m “detail oriented” sounds almost clinical, like I’m applying for a job: “Applicants must be detail oriented, range between 5’9” and 5’10”, covered in purple spots and be named Ralph Wiggum.”  In truth, being a slave to the facts such as I am, can cause problems when talking to regular folk.

Are you still able to breastfeed?

It used to be, when someone asked me how I was, I literally opened the flood gates and told them about how I’m a little down because I had run out of tea due to lack of funds because I spent too much on my credit card when my kids were little because I stayed home with them when they were little because I wanted to breastfeed them.  This type of conversation is usually followed by a blank stare and me feeling uncomfortable for a few  moments before the other  person finds a convenient way to excuse themselves.  Naturally, over time I began to give out less and less information, until I have finally arrived at “fine” as a stock response.

There is such a fine line between too much information and just the right amount.  Knowing when to stop talking is like an artist that knows when to stop painting “one more stroke will be too much.”  Maybe, I just haven’t spoken to enough people and it’s a trial by error type of scenario.  Lucky for everyone out there, you are all my guinea pigs and eventually I will get just the right amount of information when I speak to any of you.  Thank you for participating in my study; there is a box of stickers by the door and you can take one as you leave. You’ve got your choice of Spongebob Squarepants or a kitten.

I should have known! You use Always with wings!

Love,

Dame Iron Fury

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