Random Wednesday Musings, Volume 2

I feel the swastika has a bad rap.  It’s actually a cool symbol, but no one can use it without being associated with Nazis.  The swastika was a symbol before Nazis borrowed it.  They didn’t make it up, but that’s what the majority of the world sees when they look at it. Sorry, swastika.

Girls have to go through way too much effort to be at a socially acceptable level of appearance.  I’m sure plenty of girls, excuse me-women-enjoy it, but overall it’s just too much.  Speaking of, high heels are pretty but walking in them all day is bad for you.  I know that because of the scientific study I have been working on.  When I wear them, my feet hurt.  There.  End of study.  That is why I stopped wearing them and have opted for combat boots.

Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t gotten a job writing professionally yet especially when a lame-o like Jose Canseco already has two books published.  And then I remember, “oh yeah, I probably need to finish something first.” 

I’m always unimpressed when people are surprised that I can say something intelligent or make an interesting observation.  Should I dumb everything down to meet their expectations?

Being creative everyday is hard.  It might not be so hard if I didn’t have anything else to do or anyone else relying on me. 

I was glancing through our employee handbook and I got upset at certain things.  “Pants, shorts and skirts worn below the waistline are inappropriate.”  Um…how many people these days still have pants at their waist?  I would like to see how funny it would look if everyone in the office pulled their pants up to their waistlines.  They would probably look like our Asian sales manager who never ceases to amaze me with his high riding pants.

Females dread having another female wear the same thing at the same time.  It’s a commonly known social faux pas, but I’m not sure why exactly.  Is it jealously over wanting to be original?  Or maybe it’s the fear that someone will look better in that same outfit? Uniforms for everyone would probably be easiest at social occasions.  Maybe we should start there and see how it works. 

I just had an idea and before I could maximize the screen for this document it was gone.  That’s just cruel and unusual punishment.

One of my favorite words in the English language, facepunch, is not actually a word.  That should be crime because I use it continuously throughout the day.  “Can I get a prescription of facepunch?”  “Can I get a medicinal facepunch IV drip?”  “Don’t make me have to facepunch you!”

Love,
Dame Iron Fury

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